Why do friendships change as we get older?

Friendship…This word plays a huge part in our lives from a very young age. It is defined as the relationship between two or more people of the same or different sex, with the main feature of mutual Platonic love, devotion and understanding, without necessarily having an interest, motivation, or superior goal. Although we start our socialization with a big group of friends ( imagine your friends during primary school), as times goes by we notice that eventually this group decreases considerably. That is ok! Studies around the world have proven that the friend pool decreases around the age of 25. Sometimes the best friend that you used to have, may now don’t even belong to your inner circle or may have become a stranger to you. You can, also, test this theory if you check your most used contacts on your phone or your social media and compare them throughout the years. Chances are, you’ll be surprised with the difference!

However, this decline is normal and you shouldn’t be terrified or think that you might end up alone. There are some logical reasons behind this decline.

                                             1.    You have moved to another city.

There are times that we have to move from our hometown or change cities and leave our friend circle behind. These changes are significant and disrupt us. Even though, you can make new friends in your new environment, you may choose to invest most of your energy in adjusting into this new relocation, stay alone or pick only one person to hang out with. Whether you are shy or desire to spend some time alone, volunteering and joining different communities will make your relocation easier and will help you create a new social network.

                                                2.   School and College are over.

School and college are some of the easiest places to make friends since there are common activities and experiences that bond us. Students talk about their homework, collaborate, have same classes and go to the same activities. While in college, there are students who possibly live for the first time away from home and once they meet other peers in the same situation, they can relate. But when college is over, most of the graduates find jobs across the country or move abroad. As a consequence, you may lose some high school or college friends which is a natural progression.  

                                         3. You have a remote Job.

Technology has now invaded in our lives and has replaced many professions. More and more often we meet people who work in their own personal space via the computer. This means that they work all day alone and they have lost one primary place in adult life to make friends: the office.

               4.  Your friends may couple-up.

You all know this reason and you all have experienced this just as I have…You spend the whole day with your best friend, walks, hours on the phone but when they found someone to date…poof… they disappear. You may see that more often in girl groups as women tend to behave that way and be more attached to their significant other. They want to focus more on their partner, feel secure and plan a mutual future. Their whole attention is on their partner and they distant themselves from their close friends.

                                  5. You may couple-up.

Now the opposite may happen, with you as the protagonist of this play! You may hate when your friends choose to spend more time with their partners but you do the same when you are in a relationship. You and your partner have decided to take it more seriously and you undertake more responsibilities. Therefore, your social needs naturally recede and personal relationships become your primary goal.

                                    6.Your interests change.

We have many activities in our lives and often our interests change. You will have noticed that some of your friends are drifting apart because their interests have changes. For instance, you may prefer party nights out while they want to stay at home watch a movie or read a book. Whatever the reasons and the differences in your preferences, it’s ok if you no longer have the same interests.

                                  7.You become picky.

As we get older, we stop being tolerant and we want to be surrounded by people who genuinely care for us. You may feel that you have unbalanced or one-sided friendships, you have fun spending time with someone but there is no communication or you are the one who always takes the initiative to plan a reunion. We start questioning our friendships and prioritize our needs.

              As people we evolve and friendships evolve respectively. People come and go. 

Remember: 

'One needs only a few friends to live a happy life!'